please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
