dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
