I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
literally had 100 drinks last night.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He did a backflip because drugs
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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