alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
