The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
