if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
