new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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