So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
