WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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