5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
