I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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