i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
