Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
