Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
