It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
