So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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