I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
