filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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