They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i barfeds in our rink
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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