It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
