Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
