you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Randomize
