I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
