Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
