I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
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