then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I understand Curling. That high.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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