She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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