So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
