New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
