I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
