Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
