Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
