who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
