and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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