Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
