Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
