Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
