I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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