There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
