are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
It's just like the Real World with babies
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
organizing the empties. That sober.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
