so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
