So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
