i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
