Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
