3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
