somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
