How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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