New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I think I am morally bankrupt
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
