Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
only you would photoshop your dick
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
