Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
