I looked at my own cervix.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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