bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I want her autograph on my taint
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
