Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
