I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
